I open the door to my German class, stand in the doorway and only really let a few people in. Kallum and Ethan got in then I tried to keep the rest out. Ethan made sex moans and Kallum laughed, I rolled my eyes before Frau Wynhorst came in and I let everyone in.
I didn't sit where I normally sat, I sat with Claire to give her a bit of company other than Kareena. Frau came in, her eyes were red and watery. Now, in our German class, we've all grown extremely close, family one might call it, Frau Wynhorst included. Might as well since we're doing German until year 12 and we're the only year 10 German class, but back to the story, our extremely special Frau was crying and I darted my eyes around the class room to see each and every class member with the exact same look of concern that I had for our Frau.
She took a deep breath then looked for the roll, she couldn't find it and started to freak, I missed a little of the conversation because I had slipped into a small daydream, wondering to myself which at this point almost never happened in my German class. I come back and Frau was on the verge of tears. My stomach twisted and I felt like crying along with her. She explained that an incident with another student had brought back her post traumatic stress disorder, or triggered it and Claire tried to calm her down by telling her to just pass around a sheet of paper and we'd all put our names on it and we'd try to work out who was away from there.
She told us that she was an extremely open person and that she wouldn't hide the fact that she has P.T.S.D. She then joked about it, saying that we had never seen a teacher so human. Wiping her eyes from the tears that threaten to spill out and she then began to tell us her story.
She was in a dog-sled racing accident, which we all knew about and she shattered her shoulder, also which we all knew about. She was very open about both and I think I speak for the whole German class when I say that we all respected her because of it.
REWIND:
She told us about the fun she had, it was her life and I really hoped she had fun while she could because she deserves it, even now, she's always smiling and I just can't stay in a bad mood in her classes. I just can't. Even when I try to stay in a bad mood, her mood always seems to pick mine up. As I keep ranting and raving on twitter, Frau Wynhorst is awesome. Even awesomer than 'zee awesome Prussia'.
BACK TO THE STORY.
She told us that the doctors and everyone she visited said she had no chance of moving her arm again, she apparently only had 10% movement, which eventually moved up to 75% movement and I grinned, Frau was certainly awesome, kick ass and down-right bad-assed. She always seems to be doing the stuff other people said she couldn't.
She then almost started to cry again, she told us that the bone died and there was a hole left in her, metaphorically of course. She let a few tears drip before she started to say she felt so weak. I gave in to my thoughts and told her.
She wasn't weak. She was doing something really strong, she was admitting her faults and it takes a lot of guts to do that. I wasn't going to say it in front of the class because I didn't want to seem like I was sucking up but I admire her. She's a very strong woman and I strive to be someone like that when I'm older. She started to cry again and that made the knot in my stomach turn. I didn't want to make her cry again so I shut my mouth and gave her a small twitch of my lips up into a grin. Liam popped up and added that it wasn't a weakness, Liam knew what I was trying to say and put it into better words for me.
She gave a laugh, smiled and she went on about how broken she was, I put my pen down to grab a little bit of her attention, I walked right over to her and gave her a hug. I hope that made her feel even a little better but she seemed to be trying to fight the tears even more now which was against my intentions, I returned to my seat and she said again how broken she was.
Then my big mouth opened again, this time what came out of my mouth seemed to make her stop sniffling. I told her that she wasn't broken. She isn't. I don't think you can break a woman that strong, I told her that she had too much pressure put on her and she had just.. cracked? Which wasn't a real good way to put it but I tried to find a word for what I was trying to say. She had a hole? She had cared too much? She had something she loved ripped away from her? She wasn't broken. I doubt she ever will be.
Frau is a very strong woman and I hope she realizes this, I'm going to email her after I finish writing this, I'll probably link her to this too, just show her what goes on in my mind about her. She's awesome, I look up to her, she's kick-ass and just awesome. I don't ever want her to think that she's broken or weak. She really is not. I hope she's okay....forget that. I know she'll be.
She's a tough cookie.
Thank you ❤️
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